A visitation by the ghost of proms past

Pin It

Weren’t the late 1980s awesome? No? And what was with those sleeves?

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes

Take a good looooooong look.

Go ahead.

It’s fine to laugh at my expense.

However, you know that if you went to high school in the late 80’s you have VERY similar pictures rotting in an album as I type.

Last night was Unionville Prom 2012 and I am quite certain that no girl there was donning an ice blue satin bridesmaid/prom dress with butterfly sleeves (HIDEOUS), dye able shoes (oh yes, I did) and Lee Press On Nails (in a french, naturally).

This may be hard for you youngsters to believe, but, prior to MY dances, I did not “go tanning” (the spray kind WAS NOT EVEN INVENTED yet, obviously), nor did I have a professional manicure (hence the Press On’s).

I fixed my own hair….and, I don’t know if you can adequately see it in the exquisite first photo, but, I had the presence of mind to purchase a blue flower and lace comb to stick in my triangular shaped bob.  Stunning.

Why, yes!  That IS a small, yet tasteful, bustle down the back of the gown.

O.M.G.

That is just painful to look at.

So, let’s move on to the little black and white satin number.  (Would you look at the sleeves on THAT one, too?  What was I thinking?)

I believe that I had broken up with my date a mere day prior to this prom.  My mother was in hysterics that he would not even show up to take me.  He did.  And, if memory serves me correctly, he danced with just about every OTHER girl that night except me….not that I didn’t deserve it.

I put my finger over that poor boy’s face to save him the embarrassment of being forced to stand next to me in that circus-fodder get up for all of eternity.

My mother did splurge on an up do.  Of course, I went with the classic French twist complete with Hasidic Jewish tendrils swirling alongside each ear.  I have a very small head.  That, combined with my preference for abnormally large and embellished sleeves was NOT a flattering combination.

The last photo is from our seniors only, no date, Class Night.  I pulled out ALL the stops for this one.  How I talked my father into letting me out of the house in a skintight black lace dress is beyond me.

What you can’t see in this particular shot is that the bottom half of the dress was a three tiered white satin mini skirt.  I, clearly going with a theme, had on black fish net stockings and black heels.

I’m pretty sure that I was not finished teasing/spraying my hair with Aqua Net in this picture because it is not larger than the width of my body.

The young ladies going to prom these days wear gorgeous dresses (many of which cost more than the price of my wedding gown).  They are meticulously coiffed and groomed and appear years older than their chronological age.

But, whatever the fashion trend of this generation, the aura of prom transcends and the memories remain frozen in a glorious time warp.

Happy Weekend!

Share this post:

Related Posts

Leave a Comment