Make Up can be hard to do…well

Because you’re worth doing it right

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist,

You know when people say “if you could only have one thing on a deserted island, what would it be?”


Sorry, Joe. (Actually, Joe’s rebuttal is that he wouldn’t want to be with ME sans mascara anyway….nice).

Without it, I look frighteningly similar to Peter Pan. And, my body type doesn’t help. Let’s be honest.

My parents FINALLY caved to my incessant pleading to wear eye make-up around age 12. It was a life changer. I don’t think my feet have hit the floor in the morning more than 10 minutes without a mascara wand in my hand ever since.

I went into labor with my eldest at midnight. And, yes…I had mascara and lip gloss on in the delivery room. I have pictures to prove it.

Make-up is a tricky thing. You certainly don’t want to look like you are all dolled up 24/7.

However, for the gals out there who don’t wear a lick of it, I ask you “how do you discern getting ready to go OUT with getting ready for BED” without it?

I am baffled by the non-make-up wearing population. Because, I’ll say it…EVERYONE looks better with it on! Even the US Weekly and People magazines say it’s so!

Proper application is key.

Let’s run through some “no-no’s”:

Tarantula eyes: this look is achieved by coating the eyelashes no less than 400 times with very black mascara. Think Tammy Faye Baker….and, put down the wand.

Dark Lip Liner: there is NOTHING scarier than the dark rimmed, light lipsticked mouth. You may be a lovely person, but, your appearance will make people shy away from you in a dark alley.

“Frosted” anything: this goes for nails, lips, eyeshadow. Frosty=1980’s. Glimmer is fine. Sparkle is OK (to a point and then it just looks juvenile).  If you don’t believe me, watch an episode of Fantasy Island or Falcon Crest. Frosting all over the place.

Too much bronzer: if your face is 5 shades darker than your neck, that’s a problem. Bronzer should be applied sparingly and only a dusting where the sun would naturally hit the face (swipe down the nose, forehead, chin and lightly on the cheeks).

Clown Face: you know this look…when there are two perfectly round spots of hot pink on the cheek? Yikes. OK. Invest in a cream blush that is a shockingly pink color and apply with a DELICATE hand on the apples of the cheek. You should appear to be blushing. Not sun poisoned.

Inner Rim Black Eyeliner: I think that this can be an essential part of vamping it up for evening. I just find it can be a bit harsh in the light of day. Call me old-fashioned, but, the “good” girls didn’t burn the black eyeliner until after 8pm. Disagree if you must.

I LOVE to talk with women about their “must-have” make-up products. It is always fun to learn about new formulas and applications. Because, let’s face it, if you are still wearing the same stuff that you first experimented with in middle school, it’s time to shake things up!
Try a smoky eye and nude gloss or a black winged tip eyeliner with a bold red lipstick. The extra five minutes that you devote to enhancing your beauty will pay off in spades.

Because, like L’Oreal’s famous advertising slogan says: You’re Worth It!

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