Illness shows the difference between the sexes

Women tough it out and get it done, men become attached to the sofa

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times


Being sick sucks.  I hate to be crass, but there is no other way to describe it.

I am going on my fifth day of feeling like dog dirt.  FIVE DAYS.  Unacceptable.

However, in the lives of my family, nothing much has changed.  (BRACE YOURSELF, male readers)

The beds are made.  Dishes loaded in the dishwasher, emptied and put away.  Laundry washed and folded (and in baskets….I’m not a miracle worker, people).  Breakfast, lunch and dinner served daily.  Lunches packed the night before.  Make-up is on (although sparingly).  Hair is brushed.

In other words, FLAWLESS Mommy Execution.

What is the picture like when my husband is sick?  Let me describe it for you…

  • Lots of shuffling around in a bathrobe and sweatpants
  • Lack of showering and greasy hair
  • Wads of snotty tissues on the floor
  • Ten consecutive movies rented during the course of an afternoon on the couch under a blanket
  • Being on the couch under a blanket
  • Multiple cups of tea scattered about
  • Frequent cat naps throughout the day
  • Finished two books!

Now, I don’t mean to sound harsh but the difference is STAGGERING.  Right, ladies?

Once this article is discovered, there will be much debate over “who does what” and so on and so forth.  While it is true that I have never replaced a bathroom fan or used a wet-dry vac, I think it’s clear who wins in the day-to-day maintenance of our family (REGARDLESS OF HEALTH).

Not to be misconstrued….I appreciate my husband’s efforts.  I really do.  It’s just that all effort comes to a screeching halt when he is ill (which is the normal order of things for the male species).  This phenomenon only serves to prove the superiority of women.

That is all.

Happy Weekend.

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  1. Elizabeth says:

    Kelly- LUV your column….you always deliver a smile!

  2. Kelly says:

    Vidya! Hilarious! Thanks 🙂

  3. Vidya Rajan says:

    Kelly, a definition for you:

    (Fe)male: Male with iron added for extra strength, ductility and magnetism.

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