Not quite ready to let go

Mixed emotions with my oldest leaving for college

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

KellyColumn415Newest815I am typing this article in the midst of chaos all around me.

My oldest leaves for his freshman year of college in four days and I am not ready…not physically, emotionally, or spiritually. In fact, I cried washing his XL twin sheet set thinking about how the bed in his room will remain untouched for weeks (if not months) at a time.

Piles of clothes litter the floor, along with too many pairs of sneakers, as we pack things up to put in the car. Kind of ironic when I consider that the sight of the same laundry six months ago was fodder for me screaming like a lunatic.

Now, it makes me wistful. I’m a mess. Can you tell?

Even though I can sob on cue, in my more rational moments I am VERY excited for this stage of his life.

I don’t know about you, but, I would relive my college years in a heartbeat. I had the best time and I pray that he has the same experience. I’ll tell you, campuses look like high­end resorts compared to the accommodations we endured back in the day. What’s not to love? Add to it some freedom from nagging parents (plus one little brother) and that’s the stuff dreams are made of. But, I think he is feeling sentimental, too. A few hours of distance can feel like a world away when you leave home for the first time and it will be an adjustment for all of us.

I am relying heavily on the love and support of my family and friends who have already been through this with their first­born. What I have been told (over and over) is that it does get easier….and, in fact, after we get a few semesters under our belt, we will look forward to the drop off. However, I’m not there, yet. I’m feeling all the feels right now. Waaaaaah 🙁

Whether your son or daughter is leaving for a school 10 minutes or 1,000 miles away, the impact on the family dynamic is the same. So, for all of you experiencing this transition, my thoughts are with you!

Anyone have extra advice? Please, leave your comments in the section below.

Happy Weekend and Good Luck  to the Class of 2020!

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  1. TE Resident says:

    Kelly, I’d like to hear how you feel in a couple months. My son left a week ago. He plays ball at a high level. He’s starting his second year.

    I am still trying to get my house back in order. It smells like a locker room. He worked out everyday, came home plopped on the couch and didn’t shower until I nagged him for at least an hour. My food bill tripled and I spent many extra hours in the kitchen cooking to satisfy his never ending appetite. Many mornings I woke up to find my refrigerator cleaned out from the night before only to have to start the process over.

    Don’t get me wrong. It was great having him home, he was better than ever, appreciates everything we do for him (which is a big change and huge) and helped out whenever I asked, but I have to admit, I looked forward to getting my house back.

    I talked to him twice yesterday. If he doesn’t answer my call, he gets back to me right away. He’s polite, respectful, kind and generous. I love this arrangement and I can hop in the car and drive (9 to 12 hours) any time I feel like a face to face. There’s a very reasonable air fare from here to there making an any time get together possible.

    I gotta go and do more research on this smell.

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