Springtime puts stress on women

While men just let it all hang out, women want perfect summer bodies

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

KellyColumn415Newest815Spring is here! FINALLY. I know this not because of the weather forecast or by sticking my head out the front door…I know this because every female in my life is on a diet.


That groundhog emerges from his hole and the panicking begins. The consensus is that once the weather hits 60 degrees, we can no longer hide under bulky sweaters. This causes anxiety on a whole other level. Texts are flying back and forth about self tanner, where to find a frump­free, one­piece bathing suit (as easy as spotting a unicorn), and which food logging app contains the most realistic calorie counter.

I mean, the FitBit can’t be relied upon to accurately assess the amount of steps taken in a day! Trust me, I’ve had hours of conversation about it. Shakes twice a day, half­marathon training, researching the newest plastic surgery options (wait, you freeze fat and it leaves the body through the liver? WHAT?)…all topics open for discussion. The possibilities are endless but they all seem to boil down to one thing: move more, eat less. See? Herein lies the problem. Because you know what else coincides with nice weather? Outdoor living…which sounds innocent enough, but it’s not. Dining al fresco leads to sipping pretty cocktails which then results in a few nachos or pomme frites and the rest is history.

Every once in awhile, the lunacy of how ridiculous we sound as we discuss our latest plan to achieve supermodel status by Memorial Day will hit us and jolt us back to reality. We wise up for a brief 20 minutes or so and say kind things…but unfortunately, it tends to disintegrate as rapidly as it surfaces. It’s an epidemic. Can’t we all just embrace our flaws already? It’s exhausting.

And, guess what? Men do not spend time worrying about this stuff AT ALL. I think there may be significance to that fact. There’s no such thing as a “bathing suit cover up” for men. Has this thought ever occurred to you? Seriously. Take a look around at the pool or the beach. Plenty of
bellies that should be concealed but are hanging out soaking up the sunshine. Not a care in the world.

Ladies, perhaps we could all commit to turning over a new leaf this season. It needs to be universal to work. All it takes is one lone woman to utter the word “cleanse” to bring it down like a house of cards. Don’t be that girl.

What do you think? Could this happen? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Happy Weekend

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