Oscars 2014: a lot of winners, some losers

Ellen was fab, night was too long and who wears shorts to the Oscars?

UTKellyRev2ColumnBy Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

My Oscar 2014 Re-cap:

Ellen was HILARIOUS!  I loved the pizza delivery bit and the selfie photo.  She kept things upbeat and moving in an impossibly long schedule of presentations.  WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE FOUR HOURS?  I DO NOT CARE ONE BIT ABOUT EDITING, SHORT FILM, FOREIGN FILM, OR TECHNICAL CRAP.  I’m pretty sure that I am not in the minority on that point.

Kelly1These ladies killed it on the carpet!  Interesting that none of them chose color, opting instead for shades of white or cream.

It’s hard for me to pick a #1 here….but, if forced, I would have to go with Kate Hudson. She is irritatingly flawless.  I loved, loved, loved Cate Blanchett (although, would have suggested a different earring) and Naomi’s black shoes and clutch with her ivory dress looked so chic.
Kelly2Exactly the opposite was true for my Best Dressed Men…they embraced color!  Jason Sudeikis in a deep navy blue and Chris Hemsworth in a rich merlot were a welcome change to the traditional black tux.  Of course, I had to throw Bradley in for good measure.  The man could wear a trash bag and still make my list.  Dreamy.
Kelly3I might get some disagreements for this….but these ladies were the “Most Overrated”, in my opinion.  Charlize has a ridiculously perfect body in this dress, but I HATE the bodice!  It is so unflattering and strange.  The invisible straps were awful.  If it would have been a simple strapless number, she may have been my Best Dressed.  Lupita.  Her skin is like coco butter.  She looked GORGEOUS in that sky blue.


This dress was CUSTOM MADE for her by Prada.  Did they not notice that Luptia is somewhat less than voluptuous on top?  The plunge was a little too plunge-y.  Why would they highlight her skeletal torso?  It looked like a chicken carcass.  Since I’m on a tear, I will throw in that I wasn’t digging the headband either.  A headband’s function is to keep hair out of your face.  Her head is shaved on the sides.  The accessory was lost on me.

Kelly4Jennifer.  She is cute.  Was the tripping on the carpet staged?  I hope not…but, maybe she should spend some time practicing yoga…young people shouldn’t have such imbalance issues.  Her dress this year was blah.  It was red, which is a good color for her, but she wore red to last year’s Oscars!  (And lost!)  Maybe I have been a basketball mom too long and have too many superstitions when it comes to competition…but, if I lost in red, I sure wouldn’t wear it again the following year!  Right?  Anyway, I love her hair short but am not a fan of the slicked back style.  I prefer her hair with a deep part and tousled.  It looks young and fresh like that.
Kelly5The Worst Dressed.  Yes, yes you DO see Angelina in the top left corner.  That gown was matronly and ill-fitting and not worthy of Mrs. Pitt.  I was shaking my head about it for days.  WHO PUT THAT ON HER?  And, where was Brad when she said “Honey, does this look good?”  Liza.  Oh dear.  She looked like a Smurf.  Whoopi.  She looked like she came dressed from The View in her too big oxford shirt and wrapped a piece of black fabric around herself.  Anna Kendrick.  Eeeek.  Too much going on and none of it was good.

Bette.  The dress was hideous and the Wind Beneath My Wings (complete with dramatic waving) was 10 minutes that could have been edited.  Sorry.  Is that callous? Pharrell.  Shorts?  To the OSCARS?  Really?  Stupid.

Well, there you have it!  My opinion on Hollywood’s Big Night!  Who made YOUR Best/Worst Dressed lists?

Happy Weekend!

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  1. Savy Leiser says:

    Dear Ms. Hockenberry,

    I am a former Unionville student who now studies film at Northwestern University. Because I am someone who plans to devote her life’s work to becoming a screenwriter and director, the Oscars are incredibly important to me. Therefore, I must tell you that I’ve been offended by the beginning of this article, where you note that you “do not care one bit about editing, short film, foreign film, or technical crap.” Remarks like these contribute to a culture where actors are given full recognition for their hard work and talent- recognition which is well deserved- but other talented, hardworking creatives are ignored by the public.

    I respect that you may have a different opinion, and recognize that it may come from a place of ignorance in terms of how filmmaking works; I just ask that you reconsider the way you view all components of filmmaking. Editing is what creates the pace and tension of a film, what causes you to become emotionally immersed in the story. Short films are what enable many young filmmakers to first break into the industry. “Technical crap” is what makes films possible in the first place. The fact that you’re “pretty sure [you are] not in the minority on that point” enforces a culture of caring only about actors and not the other creative work that goes into a movie, and proves that you’re part of the problem.

    Someone who hopes to one day win one of the Oscars you don’t care about

  2. kelly says:

    SO……..disregard my issues with JLaw. I am WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. She wore the red corseted number to the Golden Globes last year (and won, too) I have no idea why I confused those facts. SORRY, fashionable friend for leading you astray!
    It will never happen again,

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