Just a few (ok, maybe more) thoughts about Rio Olympics

Random comments and the road to ‘meh’

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

KellyColumn415Newest815Thanks to the ridiculous back and forth between Trump and Hillary, it’s hard to be proud of being an American. Thankfully, the Olympics have provided a much needed boost to our country’s confidence.

But, here’s the part that sounds like me…I’m over it. I start out with boundless enthusiasm; but, after about three days, the Olympic coverage feels like what happens when snow is in the forecast. It is CONSTANT and unrelenting. I understand that this event only happens once every four years…but, does it have to be on the air 24/7? I think, no. (Especially the dumb sports – ­sorry canoers, I’m sure you’ve put in lots of time.) And, thanks to social media, it’s a real buzz kill to hear about the winners hours before we get to watch it.

Therefore, my stream of consciousness regarding Rio goes a little something like this: Opening Ceremony: “Moldova?” Absolutely no clue. I really am dumber than a 5th grader.

Michael Phelps: Impressive medal collection. Love the intensity of the headphones/death stare as he is waiting for his next race. But, Boomer is cute for an infant, obnoxious for a thirty­-year old. I know Michael’s busy training and everything, but, going to an orthodontist doesn’t take that much time. (That’s obnoxious, but, I’m just being honest).

Katie Ledecky: Inspirational. There is not a chance in hell that I would not false start EVERY single time. How do they stay on that starting block? Baffling to me. Also, I feel sorry that everyone seems to be concerned about her hairline…but, why not the same amount of criticism for Lochte? He looks like a Smurf.

Steele Johnson: The American diver that’s probably really talented….I just can’t get past his porn­star name.

Simone Biles: The end of her floor routine was a total Beyonce moment. She killed it.

The entire, female gymnastic team from China: I will never believe that those girls are not ten years old.

“Why aren’t my kids Olympians?”

And, along that same vein, why aren’t the parents of the winners allowed on the podium? Right? We focus so much on how the athletes get to this level…but, what about the props for Mom and Dad? Because, guess what? They have dedicated the same amount of time, energy, and resources…and my husband and I complain about URA. Could be a tiny part of the reason my kids are not performing in Rio right now.

It’s disheartening that I spend the majority of my time eating snacks while I watch the Olympics.

Which brings me to the stories about the forty year old mother’s who are winning gold…which isn’t nearly as impressive to me as their physique. I’m talking about you, Kerri Walsh Jennings. She brings thigh­gap to whole new level. Ugh. Put down the box of Cheezits, Kelly.

For as much as I complain about missing my regularly scheduled shows, I have managed to stay up until midnight watching more than once. Although, I can guarantee you that I will NOT tune in to the Closing Ceremonies (which I think is akin to watching paint dry).

What are your thoughts about Rio? Share in the Comment section below.

Happy Weekend!

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