Airing my fashion grievances, 2013 edition

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My new list of alarming fashion trends

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

UTNuKellyColumnEvery so often, I like to air my fashion grievances.  They are not always met with support from you, the reader…but I can’t seem to stop myself.

We’ve been over (and over) my dislike for capri pants, jean shorts on men, Birkenstocks, artificial nails and scrunchies.  I have waxed poetic regarding “just saying no” to Vera Bradley bags, Pandora bracelets and thumb rings.

Well, I have a few more to add to my ever-expanding list….

Lucite clutches as shown here (carried by Astrid Munoz during Fashion Week).  I just DO NOT GET THIS.  First of all, I’m pretty sure this clear box costs several hundred dollars and secondly, it’s just downright idiotic.

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White heels (like this piece of work from Chinese Laundry).  They seem to be all the rage for spring and I can’t get over their sterile, nursing uniform appearance.  I will NOT be rocking these, mark my words.

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The “full” eyebrow shown here from a picture at www.jennajulieta.blogspot.com.  To me, this lovely gal needs a wax, STAT.  Just my opinion.

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The uneven hemline (available from Bailey 44….but, don’t you dare buy one!)  This asymmetrical look was wrong in the 1990’s and remains so today.

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Apparently, this is Gwyneth Paltrow’s “nighttime occasion” outfit as featured on her website, Goop.

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WHERE IS SHE GOING?  Because, although we can all agree that her stomach is remarkable, I think she may be forgetting that she is forty.  Even those fantastic Jimmy Choo stilettos can’t save this get-up.  Belly shirts (no matter how thin you are) = horrifying.  A much better version would have included a shirt that covered her naval and a well-cut blazer. Just goes to show that even Hollywood royalty can have a “What Not to Wear” moment.

Well, there you have it.  My most updated list of couture criticisms.

Happy Sunday!

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