T’was the Sunday before Christmas….

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By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

‘Twas the Sunday before Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

And Santa asked Kelly “What should I put in there?”

“Well, Santa” said Kelly.  “It’s no problem at all.  Just give me your AMEX and KOP Mall.”

Her eyes- how they twinkled!  Her dimples so merry

And the scarf ‘round her neck was (of course) a Bur-berry

Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow

The thrill of such shopping created a glow

She had a thin face and a sore little belly

From all that Cross Fit that had turned her to jelly

She spoke not a word and went straight to her work

Filled up the stockings then turned with a jerk

And placing a hand ever slight on her hip

Walked slowly toward Santa and stuck out her lip

“I’ve forgotten MY stocking” she said with a sigh

“And now it’s too late, we are ready to fly”

“My dear” said Santa.  “I’m a fan of U’Times”

“I read your rants weekly and hear all of your whines”

“JCrew and Sephora to name but a few”

“Oh, Santa, you know me!”  “You really, really do!”

They sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle

And away they both flew, like the down of a thistle

And Kelly exclaimed as they drove out of sight

Happy Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

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