{"id":3760,"date":"2011-06-26T06:00:02","date_gmt":"2011-06-26T10:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=3760"},"modified":"2011-06-26T09:17:31","modified_gmt":"2011-06-26T13:17:31","slug":"aunt-kels-guide-to-happy-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=3760","title":{"rendered":"Aunt Kel’s guide to happy life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Celebrating the birth of her new niece, Kelly offers some advice for our younger readers<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>As I write this article, I am LITERALLY, anxiously awaiting the birth of my niece. She is my second niece by blood and fourth by marriage. (Editor’s note:<\/strong> she was born some three hours after this was written. Mom and baby are doing well, Kelly reports<\/em>).<\/p>\n

I, myself, have two sons and I also have eight nephews!<\/p>\n

No, we are not Amish, in case you are wondering\u2026.<\/p>\n

The point is, I have many young impressionable minds to mold and fashion senses to hone before it\u2019s too late. Since my goal is to create a more beautiful place in which to live (beginning right here in the Unionville\/Kennett Square area), I have some work to do.<\/p>\n

If the spirit of Robert Fulghum\u2019s \u201cAll I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten\u201d is considered a guide for global leadership, let my \u201cAll I Really Need to Know about Fashion I learned from Aunt Kel\u201d be a guide for global chic:<\/p>\n

Coordinate colors. No, green shorts do not \u201cgo\u201d with a black and red striped shirt.<\/p>\n

Revealing undergarments = never appropriate. Boys, pull up your pants and girls make sure that skirts never show anything more than a knee-cap.<\/p>\n

A baseball hat is not to be used in lieu of combing ones hair.<\/p>\n

Odd piercings will only lead to very strange and unsightly holes in your face when you are old. Not good.<\/p>\n

Tattoos may seem like fun but are most likely permanent reminders of a night filled with too much partying. This will be especially troublesome when that really cool belly button ring of flowers is stretched into an unrecognizable blob when you are 32, happily married and 9 months pregnant.<\/p>\n

Showering every day is a way to insure that other people (particularly the opposite sex) will want to be around you.<\/p>\n

The aforementioned rule applies for twice daily tooth-brushing, as well.<\/p>\n

You may not wear the Cinderella costume EVERY day (even when you are not on a play date or it\u2019s not Halloween) because it needs to be laundered just like anything else.<\/p>\n

Make-up shall be applied sparingly and only when you are at least thirteen.<\/p>\n

Wearing a winter coat is not UN-fashionable when it is twenty degrees below zero.\u00a0 And, please, do not tell me that middle school locker sizes have changed since I was a girl. That is a bold faced lie. A \u201choodie\u201d is not a jacket replacement in a blizzard.<\/p>\n

AXE smells like a revolting mixture of bug spray and lighter fluid. I don\u2019t care if it\u2019s called \u201cMidnight Essence\u201d\u2026 it will not guarantee you a date to the school dance. Trust me. Try Ivory soap\u2026.works like a charm.<\/p>\n

While I delight in the aggressive roughhousing of all of the boys in my life, I must admit to the thrill of having some little girls to round out the bunch.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t wait to paint their fingernails (although, not at a salon\u2026that is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine\u2026having a mani\/pedi next to a five year old is not at all adorable, it\u2019s annoying) and braid their hair.<\/p>\n

I have a closet full of beautiful shoes and handbags that my two boys certainly don\u2019t give a rip about!
\nSo, this article is dedicated to you, my little Josephine (but, let\u2019s not neglect : Jade, Julia and Teresa, Jared, Wyatt, Seth, Alan, AJ, Ian, Tyler, Julian, Tristan and Nate).<\/p>\n

Aunt Kel will always be there for all of you\u2026with a hug, a smile and (for the little gals) some lip gloss.<\/p>\n

xoxo<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Celebrating the birth of her new niece, Kelly offers some advice for our younger readers By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com As I write this article, I am LITERALLY, anxiously awaiting the birth of my niece. She is my second niece by blood and fourth by marriage. (Editor’s note: she was born some three hours after […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[255,76],"class_list":["post-3760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-fashion","tag-kids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3760"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}