{"id":3584,"date":"2011-06-12T06:00:56","date_gmt":"2011-06-12T10:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=3584"},"modified":"2011-06-11T09:13:02","modified_gmt":"2011-06-11T13:13:02","slug":"you%e2%80%99re-too-old-for-that-sister","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=3584","title":{"rendered":"You\u2019re Too Old for that, Sister"},"content":{"rendered":"

40-somethings dressing like 20-somethings is a recipe for fashion disaster<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Let me start off by acknowledging that I am a big, fat hypocrite.\u00a0 That being said, I will still take the liberty to lecture you about dressing appropriately for your age. That\u2019s what I\u2019m here for.<\/p>\n

I love to shop in stores like H&M and Forever 21. My husband relishes the opportunity to point out that I could, technically, be the MOTHER of a 21 year old.<\/p>\n

That is BARELY true, I might add. And, even if it does have some biological significance, I choose to ignore it\/him.<\/p>\n

I will say that, over the years, I have had to tailor my choices to the more \u201cmature\u201d selections that are available in these shops.\u00a0 (OK, I\u2019m totally cracking up at that line! You?)<\/p>\n

For example, I choose NOT to go up 15 sizes just to be able to fold my lower half into a pair of 2 and \u00bd inch inseam shorts. Even if you are skinny enough to squeeze into something like that, the skin elasticity issue remains a problem. Forty year old skin in NO WAY resembles 20 year old skin. It just doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Same goes for too \u201cmini\u201d of a miniskirt. I am all for showing off the body parts that you like best. And, if legs are your thing, by all means wear a skirt! However, if you are over 25 and your skirt doesn\u2019t come to at least mid-thigh, you look desperate and\/or sleazy. And, PLEASE, for the love of all things holy, NEVER wear a skirt with UGG\u2019s in the winter. Yes, I\u2019ve seen it. On middle aged grown women. And, it is disturbing. You are no Nicole Richie or Brittney Spears\u2026nor, should you want to be.<\/p>\n

Do I really need to discuss a mid-drift top that reveals the belly? The answer is a resounding N-O! I don\u2019t care if you have been doing P90X until you are blue in the face. It is wrong on every possible level.<\/p>\n

Tunic tops with stretch pants. QVC sells a ton of this combo targeted toward soccer moms. Why? I think that this look is just barely pulled off by third graders. And, that is only because child bearing and the effects of gravity are still many, many years away. It is especially unsettling when women pair this ensemble with a stiletto heel. Just add a side pony-tail and you\u2019re set to go! (Insert eye rolling here)<\/p>\n

I have heard a theory that I have embraced: \u201cIf you are old enough that you wore the current trend the FIRST time around, you are too old to wear it this time.\u201d The perfect example is the \u201cvisible lingerie under clothes\u201d look. Madonna made it popular in the 80\u2019s and women who danced to her songs at Pulsations, should NOT be sipping lattes in Starbucks in anything close to it.<\/p>\n

I think that the flip side of this argument is that you don\u2019t want to reach a certain age and feel like you have to wear elastic waist polyester pants and \u201cpractical\u201d shoes. Just because you aren\u2019t 21 anymore doesn\u2019t mean you have one foot in the grave!<\/p>\n

Age appropriate dressing means sticking to the classics and adding some trendy accessories to liven it up!<\/p>\n

So, the next time you see me in H&M trying on a silk shorts romper with the sequined exposed bra straps, remind me of this article and back me, ever so slowly, AWAY from the register.<\/p>\n

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40-somethings dressing like 20-somethings is a recipe for fashion disaster By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com Let me start off by acknowledging that I am a big, fat hypocrite.\u00a0 That being said, I will still take the liberty to lecture you about dressing appropriately for your age. That\u2019s what I\u2019m here for. I love to shop […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3588,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[255,354,353],"class_list":["post-3584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-fashion","tag-miniskirt","tag-uggs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3584"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3584\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}