{"id":24893,"date":"2015-03-04T09:37:49","date_gmt":"2015-03-04T14:37:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=24893"},"modified":"2015-03-04T09:37:48","modified_gmt":"2015-03-04T14:37:48","slug":"surviving-that-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=24893","title":{"rendered":"Surviving that first date"},"content":{"rendered":"

5 tips for jumping back into the dating pool<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Editor’s Note:<\/strong> Today marks the debut of our new relationship columnist, Nancy Plummer. Plummer, who operates a dating consulting business in Chester County, has been published in various local and national publications.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

By Nancy Plummer<\/strong><\/span>, Columnist, The Times<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"NancyPlummerLogo\"<\/a>First dates are universally terrifying.<\/p>\n

When someone pictures an upcoming date, they usually imagine a scene plucked out of a storybook; the perfect wine, the perfect night, and the perfect partner. However, the reality usually has more in common with a sit-com than a romance novel.<\/p>\n

Just the other day, I had a female and male client both complain to me about their terrible first dates.<\/p>\n

My male client\u2019s date showed up 45 minutes late, didn\u2019t even bother to apologize and instead felt justified in her lateness as she hadn\u2019t been able to find one of the earrings that matched her outfit. She then went on to tell a dreadfully boring story about her dear friend who had given her those special earrings. And that was the best part of the date!<\/p>\n

My female client\u2019s date arrived chewing gum, and constantly talked with his mouth full. He also ordered multiple alcoholic drinks, got visibly drunker, and talked only of himself the entire night, no questions or comments about my client or any person other than his ex-wife.<\/p>\n

Although there\u2019s obviously no formula to ensure a perfect first date, I have five simple guidelines I always remind my clients to keep in mind:<\/p>\n

(1) Arrive on-time. <\/b>Yes, it was Woody Allen who said, \u201cShowing up is 80% of life\u201d. Imagine arriving late for a business meeting with a new client. You can\u2019t. You wouldn\u2019t think of it because it\u2019s disrespectful. It works the same way for a first date. The first rule is to be on time.<\/p>\n

(2) Be appropriately dressed.<\/b> Do take into account where you\u2019re going when you select your first date outfit. If your first date is afternoon coffee, wear a nice version of your everyday outfit, not an evening gown. If you\u2019ll be going for a hike, wear appropriate shoes. However, if your first date is for dinner or drinks, do aim to be impeccably dressed. If you\u2019re a man wear a form fitting suit, shower beforehand, and hold-back on the cologne. If you\u2019re a woman, look feminine and wear a dress.<\/p>\n

(3) Be an empathetic dater. <\/b>You shouldn\u2019t just be thinking about yourself during the date \u2013 e.g. how you\u2019re coming off or if you look good. Instead, even if you know in the first five minutes that your date isn\u2019t \u201cthe one,\u201d aim to ensure your date feels better about his or her self by the end of the night. Also, be polite (consider the date as a great \u201cpractice\u201d date) and give your date honest compliments, such as \u201cI really admire your difficult decision to strike out on your own\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m impressed that you stepped up to take care of your mother when she needed you\u201d. This shows not only that you\u2019re listening to your date, it also gives them the confidence to continue opening up to you.\u00a0 Studies show that the more specific the compliment, the more it\u2019s appreciated by the recipient. One note of warning, do make sure that all your compliments are tasteful. Just because it\u2019s more specific to say \u201cI love how that dress hugs your ass\u201d doesn\u2019t mean you should say that instead of the more generic \u201cyou look beautiful in that dress\u201d. Also, do keep your compliments fixed on your date and don\u2019t mention the attractiveness of anyone else.<\/p>\n

(4) Be a great conversationalist.<\/b> Don\u2019t completely monopolize the talk, but don\u2019t reply with one word responses either. Remember that this is a conversation between two people so you\u2019re responsible for half of the dialogue. As with everything else in life, preparation is the most vital component. If you found your date online, you\u2019ve got more than enough information to get started. Travel questions are always a fun icebreaker but be sure to have a funny (and quick) travel story of your own to share. As a follow-up, look up your date\u2019s favorite book or movie and if you\u2019ve never heard of it, do a quick Wikipedia search to get the basics so you can ask more detailed question such as, \u201cis that your favorite genre?\u201d. Another thing to keep in mind, this is just a first date, so keep the conversation positive! Nothing is worse than a date who can only talk about their troubled children, bitter divorce, or terrible job. Keep it fun!<\/p>\n

(5) Don\u2019t drink too much.<\/b>\u00a0 Simple \u2013two drink maximum.<\/p>\n

Keep these five simple guidelines in mind the next time you go out on a date and you\u2019ll be that much closer to your storybook ending.<\/p>\n

Nancy Plummer is the President and Founder of All About Connecting – a Personal Dating, Matchmaker and Relationship Coaching service.\u00a0<\/i>www.allaboutconnecting.com<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

5 tips for jumping back into the dating pool Editor’s Note: Today marks the debut of our new relationship columnist, Nancy Plummer. Plummer, who operates a dating consulting business in Chester County, has been published in various local and national publications. By Nancy Plummer, Columnist, The Times First dates are universally terrifying. When someone pictures […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24892,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[4791,6816,6817,6818],"class_list":["post-24893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-dating","tag-first-dates","tag-relationships","tag-tiips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24893"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24894,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24893\/revisions\/24894"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/24892"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}