{"id":2423,"date":"2011-03-27T06:00:23","date_gmt":"2011-03-27T10:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=2423"},"modified":"2011-03-26T09:12:09","modified_gmt":"2011-03-26T13:12:09","slug":"kelly-does-capri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=2423","title":{"rendered":"Kelly Does Capri"},"content":{"rendered":"

A not-so-innocent goes abroad and turns her eye to Italian fashion \u2014 with only two pairs of shoes. Can she survive?
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>So, while you are sitting down to peruse the Unionville Times with your Landhope coffee, I am, at this VERY MOMENT, sipping espresso in a caf\u00e9 in Italy. Jealous? I thought so.<\/p>\n

I am wearing black skinny jeans with a striped top and a black scarf wound ever so \u201cEuropean-ishly\u201d around my neck. I am shouting things like \u201cbuon giorno\u201d and \u201cbellisima\u201d and \u201cgelato\u201d all in the attempt to BLEND. I have (un)successfully convinced my husband to wear a button down heather gray cardigan and plaid beret tilted casually to one side. Therefore, to punish him, I am also fake smoking (because I gag at the thought of really smoking).<\/p>\n

I am turning up my nose at the passing Americans in their white Sketcher Shape-Ups and fanny packs and Six Flags sun visors. For this week, at least, I AM Italian.<\/p>\n

I am here in Italy as a result of a FABULOUS birthday present from my husband. I am approaching a rather significant number. I don\u2019t have the stomach to say it out loud; but, let\u2019s just say that I COULD, potentially, have a subscription to MORE magazine. Although, age is just a number, right??? So, I will read my Teen Vogue and shop at Forever 21 just like I always have. Plus, Madonna is a good decade older than me and her body is ridiculous! Have you seen it?<\/p>\n

Now, before you go singing my husband\u2019s praises for such a wonderfully fantastic trip, let me tell you a little something. He said, and I QUOTE: \u201cKelly, we will be schlepping our suitcases around so we need to each take a small one. You can only pack TWO PAIRS OF SHOES.\u201d<\/p>\n

Uh huh, that\u2019s what he said. The nerve! The incredulous audacity! I was flabbergasted.<\/p>\n

I have a two-a-day shoe wardrobe change on an everyday basis in America! How am I going to pull off BEING Italian with such limited options? Doesn\u2019t George Clooney have a house here? What if we run into George? It could happen!<\/p>\n

But, I am competitive. I like a challenge. Plus, I am in the land of delicious leather goods and my husband has a torn ACL. If I start to panic, I can out-run him to the most expensive little boutique on the Almafi Coast.<\/p>\n

In the attempt to humor him, however, I took it upon myself to figure out a way to work around two pairs of shoes.<\/p>\n

I selected a bronze ballet flat trimmed in black and a knee high sleek black boot. That is the KEY, ladies. Pick a color \u201ctheme\u201d and choose your clothing options accordingly. So, you will pick either a \u201cbrown\u201d theme or a \u201cblack\u201d one.<\/p>\n

If you haven\u2019t figured me out from the content of my previous three articles, I am somewhat neurotic. What I am going to suggest next as a means of successful \u201clight\u201d packing may seem a little OCD. I concur. But, it works.<\/p>\n

I choose all of my outfits and try them on one by one. I pair the accessories that would go with each outfit and write them all out on a list. Is this making you nervous for my mental health? Don\u2019t be. My father and sister are psychologists. I am perfectly normal.
\nAnywho\u2026..<\/p>\n

I bought vacuum sealed Space Bags to ensure every square inch of my luggage space. I decided to wear my jacket on the plane along with my boots since they were much bulkier than my little ballet flats.<\/p>\n

I pack as much as humanly possible in a large handbag to bring with me as a carry-on. I always include my make-up bag (because even if they lose our luggage, I still need my lip-gloss and mascara), my toothbrush and an extra pair of underwear.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know why these things instill a sense of peace, they just do.<\/p>\n

I absolutely HATE to fly. I have anxiety and motion sickness all rolled into one. This feeling compounded by a nagging pit in my stomach that I left the \u201cperfect\u201d outfit at home in my closet is enough to make me an absolute JOY to travel with.<\/p>\n

But, imagine the fashion tips I will gather! I can\u2019t wait to share my good fortune with all of you when I return!<\/p>\n

Until next week, ARRIVEDERCI!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A not-so-innocent goes abroad and turns her eye to Italian fashion \u2014 with only two pairs of shoes. Can she survive? By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, UnionvilleTimes.com So, while you are sitting down to peruse the Unionville Times with your Landhope coffee, I am, at this VERY MOMENT, sipping espresso in a caf\u00e9 in Italy. Jealous? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2424,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[255,265,24],"class_list":["post-2423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-fashion","tag-italy","tag-unionville"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}