{"id":13753,"date":"2013-02-10T06:00:57","date_gmt":"2013-02-10T11:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=13753"},"modified":"2013-02-09T12:16:58","modified_gmt":"2013-02-09T17:16:58","slug":"illness-shows-the-difference-between-the-sexes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=13753","title":{"rendered":"Illness shows the difference between the sexes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><em><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;\">Women tough it out and get it done, men become attached to the sofa <\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;\"><strong>By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, <em><span style=\"font-size: x-small;\">Columnist, The Times<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/UTNuKellyColumn1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-13756\" alt=\"UTNuKellyColumn\" src=\"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/UTNuKellyColumn1-250x300.jpg\" width=\"175\" height=\"210\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/UTNuKellyColumn1-250x300.jpg 250w, https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/UTNuKellyColumn1-83x100.jpg 83w, https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/UTNuKellyColumn1.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 175px) 100vw, 175px\" \/><\/a>Hi.<\/p>\n<p>Being sick sucks.\u00a0 I hate to be crass, but there is no other way to describe it.<\/p>\n<p>I am going on my fifth day of feeling like dog dirt.\u00a0 FIVE DAYS.\u00a0 Unacceptable.<\/p>\n<p>However, in the lives of my family, nothing much has changed.\u00a0 (BRACE YOURSELF, male readers)<\/p>\n<p>The beds are made.\u00a0 Dishes loaded in the dishwasher, emptied and put away.\u00a0 Laundry washed and folded (and in baskets\u2026.I\u2019m not a miracle worker, people).\u00a0 Breakfast, lunch and dinner served daily.\u00a0 Lunches packed the night before.\u00a0 Make-up is on (although sparingly).\u00a0 Hair is brushed.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>In other words, FLAWLESS Mommy Execution.<\/p>\n<p>What is the picture like when my husband is sick?\u00a0 Let me describe it for you\u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Lots of shuffling around in a bathrobe and sweatpants<\/li>\n<li>Lack of showering and greasy hair<\/li>\n<li>Wads of snotty tissues on the floor<\/li>\n<li>Ten consecutive movies rented during the course of an afternoon on the couch under a blanket<\/li>\n<li>Being on the couch under a blanket<\/li>\n<li>Multiple cups of tea scattered about<\/li>\n<li>Frequent cat naps throughout the day<\/li>\n<li>Finished two books!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now, I don\u2019t mean to sound harsh but the difference is STAGGERING.\u00a0 Right, ladies?<\/p>\n<p>Once this article is discovered, there will be much debate over \u201cwho does what\u201d and so on and so forth.\u00a0 While it is true that I have never replaced a bathroom fan or used a wet-dry vac, I think it\u2019s clear who wins in the day-to-day maintenance of our family (REGARDLESS OF HEALTH).<\/p>\n<p>Not to be misconstrued\u2026.I appreciate my husband\u2019s efforts.\u00a0 I really do.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that all effort comes to a screeching halt when he is ill (which is the normal order of things for the male species).\u00a0 This phenomenon only serves to prove the superiority of women.<\/p>\n<p>That is all.<\/p>\n<p>Happy Weekend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Women tough it out and get it done, men become attached to the sofa By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times Hi. Being sick sucks.\u00a0 I hate to be crass, but there is no other way to describe it. I am going on my fifth day of feeling like dog dirt.\u00a0 FIVE DAYS.\u00a0 Unacceptable. However, in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13756,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[2682,2681,2683,272,536],"class_list":["post-13753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-housework","tag-illness","tag-life","tag-men","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13753"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13753\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13756"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}