{"id":10119,"date":"2012-06-24T06:00:47","date_gmt":"2012-06-24T10:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=10119"},"modified":"2012-06-23T10:14:05","modified_gmt":"2012-06-23T14:14:05","slug":"the-mark-of-the-beastly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/?p=10119","title":{"rendered":"The mark of the beastly"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tattoos are forever, so when you ink, so do carefully<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, Columnist, The Times<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I have been threatening to write an article about tattoos for months.<\/p>\n

Truth is, I\u2019m a chicken.\u00a0 I know that people with \u201cink\u201d take it VERY seriously\u2026and, let\u2019s face it, most of them could easily kick my butt.<\/p>\n

HOWEVER, in the true spirit of free speech, I feel that it is my duty as a fashion columnist to speak my mind.<\/p>\n

So, here it goes\u2026<\/p>\n

(I\u2019m actually squeezing my eyes shut as if readying myself for a blow to the belly)<\/p>\n

I do not find tattoos attractive on women.<\/p>\n

There, I said it!<\/p>\n

Call me sexist, I know!\u00a0 Usually, I am a hairy armpit (not really) feminist.\u00a0 Anything boys can do, girls can do better!\u00a0 EXCEPT tattoos.<\/p>\n

Maybe it is not so much the tattoo itself but the PLACEMENT that bothers me.\u00a0 If, as a woman, you decide to get one on an area of the body only seen by a significant other, I guess \u201cno harm, no foul\u201d.<\/p>\n

I still don\u2019t really understand it (perhaps because I change the color of my nail polish three times a week, and therefore, can\u2019t fathom injecting dye under my skin of an image I need to commit to for the REST OF MY LIFE\u2026but, that\u2019s obviously MY issue to work on).<\/p>\n

I mean, you may REALLY like unicorns when you are 19.\u00a0 But, will the unicorn jumping over the rainbow on your left flank look that attractive two decades later?<\/p>\n

Ummmmmm, no.<\/p>\n

I guess it\u2019s my age, but, I find myself wincing when I look at beautiful girls with visible tattoos thinking \u201cbut, how will they cover that hideous thing in a wedding gown?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure that many will vehemently disagree, but, there is no way to appear \u201cclassy\u201d in a beautiful dress and gorgeous stilettos with the picture of a snake wound around your ankle.\u00a0 The two do not jive.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been busting on women, but, men are not entirely off the hook …<\/p>\n

EXHIBIT \u201cA\u201d:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

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Editor’s note:<\/strong> This is actually exhibit B. Kelly sent us a truly horrifying picture of a local gentleman ordering coffee at Dunkin Donuts. As Kelly was out of the country in Utah on vacation (yes, that was a joke, please don’t write in) at the time of publication, we substituted a somewhat-less lawsuit inspiring shot. But trust us, it was revolting in a “People of WalMart” way. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it. Nope, it was worse than that. We now return you to your regularly scheduled column, already in progress.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.<\/p>\n

And that, my friends, is so very, very true.<\/p>\n

Happy Weekend!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tattoos are forever, so when you ink, so do carefully By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times I have been threatening to write an article about tattoos for months. Truth is, I\u2019m a chicken.\u00a0 I know that people with \u201cink\u201d take it VERY seriously\u2026and, let\u2019s face it, most of them could easily kick my butt. HOWEVER, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10129,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[245,7],"tags":[255,1507,1508],"class_list":["post-10119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-fashion","tag-tattoos","tag-unicorns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10119\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10129"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unionvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}