Just call me clueless

In a world of Pokemon Go and fried Twinkies, drunken gummis make sense

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

KellyColumn415Newest815Because my job requires me to scour the internet for inspiration and ideas, I stumble across the craziest things that usually make me shake my head. Could it be that I am just getting old and crotchety? Probably. But, I mean, COME ON…some of this stuff is cuckoo.

Case in point: Pokemon Go. I never understood Pokemon years ago when my children were obsessed with trading cards and mini figurines. However, I really don’t understand grown people running around town searching to squash (is that even what they are doing?) cartoon birds.

Can someone explain Pokemon Go to me? Better yet, don't.

Can someone explain Pokemon Go to me? Better yet, don’t.

Someone please explain. Actually, no…don’t. I’m good. Really.

Here’s another doozy. Deep Fried Twinkies. You heard me. The rumor is that Hostess Foods will release an exclusive inventory of microwavable Twinkies to Walmart stores beginning on August 22nd. (As if we did not have an obesity epidemic on our hands in this country.)

Does the world really need deep fried Twinkies?

Does the world really need deep fried Twinkies?

I know that I sound like the fun police…believe me, my boys have been telling me for years about how I can take a seemingly good thing (AKA, a fried dessert) and turn it into a teachable moment ­ often with dire circumstances (AKA hardening of the arteries). What can I say? It’s a gift.

I am confident that I know of, at least, one eager customer who may be camped out in the Schoolhouse Road parking lot right now. You know who you are and it better be recorded on your “My Fitness Pal” (Amanda).

Now, we're talking: booze and gummi bears!

Now, we’re talking: booze and gummi bears!

Now, this makes more sense : Rose Gummy Bears by the luxe candy boutique, Sugarfina. Sounds delicious, right? Agreed. However, did you know that they are in pre­sale and are already completely SOLD OUT. Like, there is a waitlist for these damn candies that are probably over $30 for a teeny, tiny box. AND, they are imported from Germany. WHAT?

I am (if you must know) simultaneously shaking my head AND rolling my eyes. Ya know why? Because for about $12 you can make your own from this recipe I found on Pinterest:

1. Buy a bag of gummy bears

2. Place them in a glass bowl.

3. Pour rose over the gummy bears to submerge them completely.

4. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator overnight.

VOILA! Drunken Gummy Bears! You’re welcome. The rumor is that about 10 bears will give you a buzz, so this is for my adult readers, only. (Example #2: Fun police).

What have you heard about lately that baffles you? Please, leave a comment below. Happy Weekend!

   Send article as PDF   

Share this post:

Related Posts

Leave a Comment